I was GUT SPLITTING proud of Ethan today. We had our hospital tour and we had all kinds of discussions about behaving. At the dinner table last night he said ‘Being have is hard sometimes.’ snarf. And we were fully prepared to yank him out of there if he didn’t behave. BUT THE BOY WAS A PEACH! He has been obsessing about a venus fly trap plant lately, and we told him that if he behaved we could get one after the tour.

All the preggos met in the lobby and the woman talked to us for a LOOOOOOOOONG time about where to go when, who to call, where to park, etc. Rod and Ethan kind of hung back a bit, this part was boring. Oh and before we went Rod showed Ethan how he had to hold his hands, clasped behind his back. He was to be quiet and not run around. Then came the fun part, up to see the labor and birthing rooms. Before we went in we were in the elevator lobby and the tour woman told me that Ethan would have to wait in the lobby with one of us. I told her that they told me he could come if he was quiet and if there was any misbehaving he was OUTTA THERE. So she said OK, we will leave it up to the nurses, if they have a problem he will need to go.

I can see her point, they don’t want unruly kids running around, and they don’t want parents who don’t keep their kids in line. But still, I felt it was super important for Ethan to see where we were going to have our baby. So then while we are still in the elevator lobby the tour guide woman asks Ethan if he is excited to be a big brother and he says yes, and touches my belly and says that our baby is coming soon because Mommy’s belly is starting to pop out a bit. Meanwhile my belly is the largest by far of the bunch. Everyone laughs. Ethan looks at me all smiley ‘now can I get a venus fly trap?’

We go in and he is walking with his hands clasped behind his back, snarf. We are the last ones into the labor and birthing room that she wants to show us and it is a large group, so instead of standing in back by the door we move to the inside of the circle and Ethan is right close to the woman. He listens intently to what she says. She talks about the bed, birthing positions, squat bar, lighting, etc. Then she gets to the glider by the bed and talks about the fact that chairs are available that fold out into beds for the partners to take a rest. And that is when to my horror Ethan says ‘can we see one of THOSE?!’ like everything up to this point has been boring, but a chair that turns into a bed, now THAT is something to see. The woman says no and engages him in a conversation about transformers and he says ‘sometimes things transform into ROBOTS!’ And everybody laughs and he is all smiley, ‘now can I get a venus fly trap?’

Then we go in to see the recovery rooms which were damn nice by the way. Flat screen TVs, DVD players. Call me crazy, but I am staying there with the princess for 3 nights. Thinking of bringing season 1 of the Gilmore Girls, or Everwood or something. Oh and geez, maybe I could get a manicurist to come do my nails and toes while I am there!

After we saw these rooms we all convened in the elevator lobby again and the tour guide told Ethan that he was very well behaved. I could have burst I was so proud of him. He says to the tour guide, ‘now I get to have a venus fly trap!’

We leave to have lunch first much to Ethan’s dismay… but then after lunch, after Ethan orders himself dessert, ‘I will have chocolate cake please’ when the waiter asks him if he wants any dessert. He doesn’t even know what is on the menu. Snarf.

Then off to Ace Hardware garden center where Ethan asks a guy who works there if they have any venus fly traps, he says yes and the kid is jumping up and down, ‘THEY HAVE VENUS FLY TRAPS!’ He picks one out and the guy tells him how to care for it and the kid is in heaven. Then we head inside to the hardware store to get some random items and everyone Ethan runs into he says ‘I got a venus fly trap!’ and if they start talking to him about it he goes on and on about it.

The kid just cracks me up.


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